A Lesson In Trust

Hello, all!
I'm so sorry that this update has taken a while to get here. Much has been happening in the Neufeld home. God has been so unbelievably good to us, and we are ever thankful. Obviously, life for the past two months hasn't been the easiest thing ever... We are learning what it means when people say, "The honeymoon doesn't last forever". I don't mean that in the sense that there is any lack of love and romance in our relationship. What I mean is that the burdens of real life start coming into view, and we must once again begin to battle the temptations of worry, busy-ness, stress, tiredness and the list seems to go on. The Lord has been teaching us so much, though about what it means to really rely on Him, and what it means when He says that He is sovereign, even over the things that seem more trivial than others. Praise God that He is the only God that always does what's best for His children, and that He always has us in the palm of His hand, never dropping us and never leaving us.
It's kind of funny how many conversations that I've had lately where people ask me, "So how are you adjusting to Dubuque?" I usually talk about how great it is, how we are slowly but surely making this place home and getting to know people. Usually the question that follows that is, "So are you working while Christian is in school?" Up until yesterday, my answer was, "Well, I'm looking for a job. Doing everything I can to find one." People that stick around to talk after that usually then get my spiel about how I have learned throughout my life that God tends to teach me lessons in concentrated amounts of time. He doesn't really spread the lessons out over time. It's kind of like, "Hey Linda, I know that you need to work on trust, so I'm going to have a bunch of scenarios in your life for the next several months that teach you about it." Now, if I'm going to be theologically correct, I know that that's not necessarily true, but the Lord always knows what I need, and it seems as though when he pick a lesson, that's all my life has to do with for several months in a row. I must be stubborn. Who would've thought? ;-)
I know that the subject of trust has been a great theme through my relationship with Christian, and especially since we got married. So many changes and so many uncertainties, there really has been nothing to do but trust in the Lord, which is what we're always supposed to do anyway, even when we do seem to have a rough idea of the future. This not having a job has definitely been one of those areas in which I have had no choice but to hand the situation over to the Lord. Much easier said than done. Much. I think when any of us are tossed into situations where we literally can do nothing about the outcome, it really tends to make the inner control freak in all of us come out. That's definitely what happened with me.
I am so thankful for the people that God has brought into our lives here. I think of how blessed we are to have such wisdom and encouragement put into our lives daily from these incredible believers, here. I was blessed with something that a new friend of ours here told me one day while I was lamenting over not having an income. She told me that I shouldn't feel all of this weight on my shoulders to provide; that my worry is sin, and that ultimately God is the one who provides for all of our needs, and that it's really never up to us. And you know what? That is so very true! Honestly, I had never thought of that. I had done all that I could do to find work. I was diligent, I was putting forth the effort and that is really all I could do. It was time for me to lift my hands and say, "Ok... I'm done with this worry. I'm sorry for my sin of not trusting you. I'm sorry that I don't give you the credit that you deserve." I needed also to not just trust the Lord, but to make sure I give Him all of the credit for His provision, especially when He gets me a job. I'm so thankful for that conversation. It really let relax and take advantage of this time of not working. This has been a valuable time in itself. I have been blessed with the chance to build a home for my husband. I have been blessed with the time to learn about him--the things he likes, prefers, and what is important to him. I have been given such a great opportunity to open our home to people (mostly students), so that they can finally get off campus occasionally. I have been given this time to build these relationships and learn to be a wife, and who knows when a time like this will be available to me again?
I went out for tea with a new friend of mine, Beth a couple of weeks ago. It was a great conversation. The Lord has blessed me so much through her friendship already, and I am so thankful that He has brought her into my life. After our tea-time, she drove me home and got the chance to come up and see our new place. Now, because of this lesson that I have been learning about trust, I had had the song "Trust and Obey" stuck in my head everyday for about a week at the time, so I wrote a little sign on a 3x5 notecard that had those two words on it. When Beth came into our apartment she saw that sign and started shouting, "No way! No way!" It just so happens that she has the same two words on a 3x5 notecard in her office here at EBC (she works in the admissions department). Turns out we both have trust issues with God in different ways, so we need a daily reminder for us to "trust and obey" Him. I love the words to that song. They are so simple, but so great:

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His word,

what a glory He sheds on our way!

When we do His good will, He abides with us still

and with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way

to be happy in Jesus,

Than to trust and obey.

As it turns out, a couple of weeks ago I got a call from a bank in the area which is just one bank of many based out of Heartland Financial, Inc, and it's Dubuque Bank and Trust. This bank has about a zillion branches (or so it seems) in the area, and I happened to see a job opening on a local job website. I figured what the heck, and went ahead and sent in a resume and cover letter to them, only to receive a phone call a few days later to schedule an interview. What amazed me about that was that I knew I was already way under-qualified for the job... I mean, based off of my previous work experience. I have never worked in investments or even at a bank, not even as a teller. I was told on the phone that I was going to be having a two hour interview with four people. That's not intimidating, right? Let me tell you my first impressions. So, I go downtown for this interview, park at this building which is the DB&T corporate offices building (so it's not actually a bank branch) and walk in. There is a receptionist desk just inside two sets of double doors, which I go to and say, "Hi. Umm... I have an interview with umm... Andrew Douglas?" To which she smiles in a way that says, "You obviously don't know how any of this works, do you?" You know those smiles. Anyway, so this is a place where apparently you have to have an appointment with someone who works in the building in order to even access the elevator or stair case. The receptionist has to call to that person's department, and then buzz you through the door that goes to the elevator. High-tech, right? Gee whiz. 

      So after my interviews, I felt pretty great! But I also knew that there were probably a ton of other applicants who were far more qualified than me for this job, which really wasn't hard to do. Again, I was sooooo under-qualified. So about a week passes and I get another phone call from the portfolio manager in the investment department, telling me how much they loved me and how great I was, etc. I won't lie, I was waiting for a "but..." in there somewhere, but there wasn't one! She just told me that they needed me to come in on March 2nd for a formality interview with the wealth management department, and so that the president of the wealth management group for ALL of the banks could meet me. Then the investment team would take me out to lunch after. Wow. Needless to say, I bought my power suit, and went in yesterday for these interviews. Talk about the Lord pulling a miracle! I GOT THE JOB! I work now in what is called the "middle office", so half of the day I am working in wealth management, and the other half in the investment department. It has great  pay and more benefits than I ever could have hoped for, which more than meets our needs, and will allow us to use our excess for ministry. We are SO thankful!!! As Beth said in her text to me, "Praises be!" 

     My God is SO great. HE got me this job. HE most certainly provided in ways that I could never have hoped for. I hope this is encouragement for people struggling with trusting the Lord. It is an intense struggle. The reward of trusting in His provision though, is just soooooo much greater than you could ever expect. He always has us in His hands. Always, always, always. And His ways are so much higher than ours, and His plans so much greater. SO MUCH GREATER. 

     "For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."- John 1:16

Becoming A Wife: A Great Adventure

Alright, so it's no secret that I am new to my new job title, "Wife". Every day I am learning something new. I always thought that I was you know, at least moderately prepared for this lifestyle. I thought, How much can there really be to learn? I know Christian... No, I REALLY know him... Life isn't gonna change that much. Umm... In the words of my incredible husband, "BOGUS!"
"Change" seems to be the word of our life right now. I loved to cook and bake before we were married, but it's funny how the things that you used to do occasionally just for the joy of it, how they can sometimes lose their zest when you must do it for three meals a day. Also, I had no idea just how incredibly expensive life is! Granted, for all of you super duper "extreme coupon"-er types, you must give me a little credit. I am the one who can't even bring myself to "splurge" on a $1.50 pair of socks.
So, there are changes, and some are more pleasant than others, but I get to start and end every day with the greatest guy ever! That is what makes even the challenging situations all worth it. Still, through it all, I have felt the Lord teaching me a lot of things. I am such a social butterfly, that moving to a new place and having no friends and actually needing to put forth the effort to really get to know people is scary, humbling, and oftentimes lonely. It's something that I have never truly had to do before. I was encouraged though, the other day when a good girlfriend of mine gave me a call. Her and her husband are in an almost identical situation... They are two friends of ours from the ship: He's a Canadian, and she's from Roseburg, OR. Well, they got married early in September this last year, and spent their honeymoon driving to a camp about an hour out of Edmonton, not knowing anyone, her not having a job, and nothing to do but learn how to be a great wife. She has a few months on me as far as learning goes, and when she gave me a call, I really felt the Lord poking at my heart and my attitude. Unfortunately, my attitude hasn't always been super. Shocker: I'm not so great at "submitting" as I thought I would be, and in fact, I absolutely stink at it most of the time! Not OK. When I confessed my woes of wanting to be home and have all of my friends around me again, Kaylee (my friend in Canada) gently but directly said to me, "You know, Linda... I felt the same way, but finally I realized that God didn't bring me here to make friends. My first goal is to know Kyle, and to focus on his needs, and to learn to be the best wife that I can be. Even if it makes getting to know people outside our home take longer. Jesus made Kyle my first priority aside from Himself." So, that right there might be something that those of you wives that have been married for a while are smacking yourselves in the head about, and saying, "Duh, Linda!" It's OK... Just writing this is making me want to do it, too. The other thing that she encouraged me with was in pointing out that yeah, this time is hard and we miss home tremendously. But the Lord is blessing us so much by this experience, because while we are far from home, we are still not too far to visit. Since both of our families are planning on being in full-time missions work in the next several years (Kyle and Kaylee in Japan, and us in Paraguay), the Lord is being gracious with us (as He always is) in allowing our first transitions as wives to be in places that are not too far, and not too different from home. This is a learning period, and an easing into a life that will soon take us far away, to completely different cultures, languages and new people. Instead of pouting about how difficult it is, I must praise the Lord for all of His goodness! It is never fading, never changing... He is our constant, our Provider, our Perfect Peace.
The rest of my conversation with Kaylee was still full of convicting thoughts, and I am so thankful for them. While this might seem random, the key and most important part of holding up my part in this marriage is staying constant in the Word. I must grow closer to Jesus, because He is what brings me closer to my husband. While Christian and I are learning (very quickly) that marriage isn't just a bunch of flowers and Enya, and that arguing and trying to learn how each other operates isn't easy, my walk with Jesus is the cornerstone to our marriage, and He is what syncs us. And finding out that time of day when both of us can come together and read a passage together and pray makes all of the difference in the world!
I am so thankful for this time of our life. Lord willing, He will continue to grow us and fill us with a satisfaction that only He can provide.
"And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." -Titus 2:4-5

The Start of Something New Part 2

Hi, all! Well, we have officially endured our first week of living in Iowa. We have to say, life is good. We are really starting to see the beauty of this place. It's such a great little town, and the people are so friendly. We are so thankful for the opportunities the Lord has given us, and for all of His abundant provision.
This last Sunday was our first "new" church experience. The first official day of our hunt for a Dubuque church family. We went to a brethren assembly called, Arbor Oaks Bible Chapel (AOBC). It's a small church with seemingly only a handful of members (compared to the Westside body ;-)), and it is very "traditional". No exciting instruments, nothing flashy or anything... Just simple. Even though the church was small and traditional, it had a great charm to it. I think it was probably because the people there came just as they are. Something that I noticed was that the people in the congregation were very authentic, and that when they came up to introduce themselves (which literally happened every 5 seconds or so... Christian and I were talking with new people the whole time hehe), they were so kind and gracious, and so legitimately interested in learning about us. Their welcome of us was so warm, and we were so thankful for it. They tried to plug us in right away, also, which is incredibly sweet, and we're thankful that their needs seem to be areas that the Lord has equipped us in. Still, we don't want to rush things, and would like to keep exploring before making a decision as to where we want to invest ourselves the most. It would seem, though that the decision might be really hard if this is what Dubuque assemblies are like... Uh oh. Just kidding, but it will just take a LOT of prayer. :-)
On Monday, Christian and I went into Emmaus to pay tuition and have him register for classes, etc. It was great. We just love the staff and faculty. Christian has even already been invited to grab coffee sometime with one of his professors. Wow! That doesn't happen everyday to college students! Anyway, here are a few pictures of our NOT finished apartment, but we're getting there :-) And some pics from Christian's first day as an Emmaus student!
This is the bathroom, which I have painted a light green, and then primed and stained the wood towel hanger, the door, the sink pedestal, the mirror and the toilet paper rack. We're pretty happy with the result :-)

Here is the kitchen. Still has some work to be done, but it's been fun putting it together. I just can hardly wait to ORGANIZE it!!! If the yellow is too much, PLEASE tell me :-) Would appreciate it, because I still can't decide how I feel about it. Christian has the "I'm a guy... I don't really care" mind set about it. ;-)

Here is the little nook that will be my office space (our whole second room is dedicated to Christian anyway... his "man-cave" ;-) In the nook, our landlord happened to find an old chandelier in storage, so he gave it to us. We spray painted it silver, and I am going to paint the bottom half of it some color that I haven't decided on yet. :-) I also bought a curtain rod to put across the top there, so we will have two red curtains pulled off to the side after we install the curtain rod. We'll post more pics once it's done.

Here is the dining room table that we just purchased off craigslist. AND our unfinished walls. After tomorrow, that will no longer be the case, Lord willing.

Finally, the painting that we bought at Bed Bath and Beyond the other day. This will go over our couch on the wall opposite the one you see in the table pic.

We are getting new laminate flooring this Saturday, too, which we are REALLY excited about. Finally, after that, hopefully everything will be on its way to being done! Now some pics of Christian's first day of school!

We are so thankful for all your prayers! We will update again, shortly! Hopefully with pictures of finished rooms! :-)
We love and miss you all!

The Start of Something New

Hello, friends and family! I know that this post has probably been long awaited, and we are thankful for your patience. :-) Needless to say, lots and lots of big and insane changes happening in the last several weeks. I (Linda) graduated form PSU a mere week and one half before our wedding, then had probably a million (not really, but a ton) of friends and family that came into town the next week to participate in the wedding festivities. It was so nice to have everyone there supporting us, praying for us and encouraging us. The wedding was great, and we are so happy to be married and sharing life as one now. After our honeymoon to Mexico, we came home for Christmas (which really means that we packed like crazy), tried to spend as much time with family as possible, and then said goodbye. It really has all been a whirlwind of changes, big and small. God has remained so faithful through it all, though. He is so good, and so gracious. Things have been tough. I am not one that is a huge fan of dramatic change, even when it's great I still have a hard time letting go of the past.
Christian and I left at approximately 8am from my parents house one week ago from today. The morning was more filled with excitement about an adventure than filled with the sadness of leaving home and the shelter of our family and friends. Our first destination: Missoula, Montana to visit my brother and his family on our way to Iowa. On our way out of Hillsboro, we stopped at a traffic light right behind this car. The license plate was pretty ironic, I thought.

We stopped at Multnomah Falls on the way out of Portland (mostly for a potty break... shocking, right?) and caught a few good pics :-)

We arrived in Missoula with no problems whatsoever, and we really enjoyed the drive! It was great to spend time together and just talk and listen to sermons, etc. Spending time with Tim and Jamie (and the rest of the herd) was a blast as always. We loved getting to spend some good time with them before the "great divide". The next morning (or should I say "afternoon" because we were planning on leaving at about 9am, and ended up leaving at 12:45pm), we said even more goodbyes, and made our way to Buffalo, Wyoming for the night. Unfortunately, this is the stop where I officially had my first meltdown. Throughout the entirety of the big changes in my life, the tiredness and the immense stress and craziness, I had yet to let it all out and cry. Poor Christian... I just sobbed and sobbed about how much I missed home, my family, my church, my house... He even tried to turn on the movie Madagascar to help ease my emotional pain. Surprisingly, I cried through that for the most part, too. Since then, I have had my moments of tears, still. It's still a difficult transition.
The next morning we woke up, packed all of our things and went out to the lobby to check out of our motel and hit the road for Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We were both shocked to walk out into the lobby and see pure white... EVERYWHERE. The wind was howling, the snow was blowing, and Christian and I had jaws on the floor. Neither of us have ever experienced anything even near a blizzard... but here we were... smack dab in the middle of one. Most people probably would have groaned and rolled their eyes and seen this as a huge hinderance, but no... not me and Chris. Instead, we both looked at each other and said, "YES! Let's go!" After a few minutes of listening to the weather forecast and discovering that the interstate was "not closed, but no travelling unless it's unavoidable", we got in our car and headed out. We prayed first, and felt like the Lord was telling us that it was ok, we left. The coolest thing about it was that, even though all of these people were warning us to go, we both felt secure that the Lord would take care of us, and as soon as we hit the interstate, the clouds opened up and the road began to clear, and in about 5 minutes, we were free of the scary weather.

My sister-in-law, Amy has a cousin in Sioux Falls, and she arranged for us to get to stay the night with her. That was great. It was really nice to be able to catch up with Joy a little bit, and to spend New Years with her (even though C and I totally flaked out and went to bed at about 11:30... LAME), but it was really great how the Lord provided for us, even on our trip. We were given giftcards for gas as wedding gifts, so that helped us save a ton on gas costs, and then getting to stay with family and friends on our way to Dubuque also was a huge blessing. Not only getting to see people we love, but it was easy on the bank account, too! What a gift!
Finally, on Sunday at about 3:30pm central time, we arrived at our new home in Dubuque, Iowa.
To be honest, the first impressions of the place were not all that spectacular. In fact, they were super disappointing. After travelling for three and a half days, coming "home" to an apartment where the contractor had been smoking (in the apartment!) and left an overwhelming smoke smell, no electricity and super dirty floors was not what anyone would call ideal. In fact, it was ultra discouraging. Since we were not able to go apartment hunting in person, we had to go off of pictures of the place. The house was built in 1929, and is a four-plex, so that limits the people amount, which is nice. Our neighbors are pretty cool. They are very mellow guys, and have not been a problem thus far. Still, since day one Christian and I have been hard at work, cleaning, buying furniture, painting and trying to bring beauty from the ashes, so to speak. It's been a lot of work so far, filled with lots of times of ups and downs, but we finally got the electricity to work, the floors cleaned, and the smell out. Lots of work to be done still, and my attitude to be perfectly honest, has probably had the most dramatic of swings since we moved here. It's been really tough leaving a perfectly amazing home, surrounded by comfort and a secure web of believers and friends and people that support us and love us, and come to a place where we don't know anyone, have no spiritual encouragement (as of yet) (and outside of phone conversations with family back home), no church, and a place that doesn't feel like "home" yet. Granted, it's only been four days, but these four days have already felt like months. Still, we are encouraged by each other, and are finding that even though we are occasionally experiencing some serious lows in this time, we are progressing, and the Lord's goodness is so evident and abounding. We are grateful for each other, for the experience that this is and for what is to come in this time here. We know that the loneliness will pass, and that we will soon have a great group of friends, and that believe it or not, the apartment will become a good home for us. Hopefully the Lord will use us to encourage others, and that we will be used in many ways here. Last night, I was actually able to make our first real meal since we've been here, and it was a crockpot one, too! Yay! It also turned out super good, if I do say so myself ;-) Here's a couple of pics.

I made a chicken pot pie sort of dish with easy drop biscuits. Seriously, when they call them "easy", they are not kidding. That's pretty much the easiest thing I have ever made. I love them! Then boneless, skinless chicken thighs, left to cook with carrots, celery, onion and peas, flour and milk. Yummmmmmm! One of my favorite things to do as a wife is make my husbands tummy happy. :-) We finished the evening with watching The Help on my laptop (which was hooked up to my desktop screen (seen below)). It was lovely. Our first evening of starting to feel like, "Yes, this is good, and this works. It's starting to feel like home." 

We have also been greatly blessed with some great items that we found on craigslist for super cheap, such as a couch/oversized chair and ottoman, and a fabulous table with four matching chairs and chair pads. We are going mattress shopping today, so hopefully we will be able to find something reasonable.
Thank you all so much for your prayers. We have really felt the Lord with us throughout all of the changes. Please continue praying for us, that we would maintain a thankful attitude for all the Lord has done and is doing, and for some close friends for us, and that I (Linda) would find a job. Also, Christian has orientation on Sunday, and school starts on Tuesday. Pray that he will feel at home and welcomed at Emmaus, and that the Lord will give him some strong guy friends that can encourage him and help him.
When we were first driving into Dubuque, this song was on the radio, and I think that I will close with the lyrics.
         "Give thanks to the Lord, our God and King. His love endures forever. For He is good, He is above all things. His love endures forever. Sing praise. Sing praise... Forever God is faithful. Forever God is strong. Forever God is with us. Forever."

Hello, From Dubuque!

Hi, all! This is just a quick post to let you know that everything is going great! Our apartment is starting to feel more like a home for us every day, but the transition is still difficult at times. We are so thankful for this opportunity, and can hardly wait for Christian to start school. God is so good, and he is so faithful. We have found a great friend in Lauren Ashby (Christian's admissions counselor), and she has been such a blessing to us. We are so thankful for all of your prayers, and ask that you continue to pray for us, that we might be able to really settle and that Dubuque would continue to become more of a home for us. Also, that I would be able to find a job here at the end of next week (when I will officially be starting the "job hunt"). Blessings to all, and we will be posting again VERY shortly. (I just forgot our camera to upload pics... so... I'm waiting to write a for real post. ;-)

IT'S ALMOST HERE!

Oh my goodness, this week has been a doozy! It has been filled with so many good/great things, and anticipation is exploding out of Mom and Dad's home. Monday was super exciting because, guess what??? I GRADUATED! I am now officially a holder of an International Relations degree with two minors in German and Business from Portland State University! My life can finally move on, and I can actually read for pleasure! Wow! What a feeling! I can tell that my body is finally decompressing because, low and behold I have caught a horrible cold. It's OK, though! I'd way rather have it now than on our wedding day or honeymoon. It's all good, folks. ;-) Oh! And I finally had the time to make these delicious mint chocolate chip cookies that I've been dying to try! Wow, all of this free time! It's so foreign to me... I could seriously get used to this!
Christian and I also submitted an application and background checks for an apartment in Dubuque. The landlords are incredibly friendly, and the apartment is only a minute drive from Emmaus. If we get it, it would be such a blessing. Please be praying (if you think of us) about it, and that if it's not this place, that the Lord will provide something even more suitable for us to spend the next 3-4 years living in.
Christian also just finished his last class of the term, so now all he's thinking about are how excited he is that his family and dear friends are coming the day after tomorrow, our wedding is in SINGLE DIGIT days! (9... or 8 1/2... preferably the latter ;-)), and that the next time he goes into a classroom, it will be at Emmaus! Praise the Lord!
We are so excited to welcome Christian's family and our friends! We love them all so much, and can hardly wait to hug them all.
It's interesting to be so excited about all of these amazing things that are happening, but at the same time it's weird to think that the next 8 1/2 days are going to be filled with a lot of "lasts", too. This week was our last caregroup meeting. This Sunday will be our second to last day at Westside (our last day will be Christmas day). These are the last days that Christian and I will be single. This is the last week that I have living in my room, and my house. I guess this is my last week of being a "kid". BUT, the future is coming, and it will be a great adventure! I am so thankful for all that the Lord has done in our lives, and we are excited to continue the journey together now. After this week of "lasts", Christian and I will be having a lifetime of "firsts". I can hardly wait for that. :-)
Oh! And, just to kick-off our lifetime of "firsts", our amazing friends, Jeremy and Kylie Cole gave me my first Bible with my NEW NAME inscribed on the cover. I loooooove it!!!
Here are a few pictures from the last week :-)

Me, with my very last school paper EVER!

The Bible that the Cole's got for me with my new name :-)

The mint chocolate chip cookies that I made. (Mint Chocolate Chip is Christian's favorite :-))

Give Thanks

There is this little sign in the kitchen window that my mom put up a few days ago. It says, "Give Thanks". I have sat at the counter in my kitchen every morning with my cup of coffee in hand, just staring at that sign. You know how sometimes you just sit and stare at something and just let you mind wander, without even thinking about what it is you're staring at? This morning I finally saw what it was that my eyes have found themselves so automatically drawn to every day when I sit or walk into the kitchen. What's funny is that this sign is not a big deal. It doesn't stand out, it's just a small, brown sign that really is inconspicuous compared to all of the other items surrounding it.
So, I think that this post is going to perhaps be a little more raw than normal. I think that it's time for me to be honest, and really share my heart about all of the events that have been, and currently are taking place in my (Linda's) life.
The last few weeks have definitely thrown some unexpected hurdles at me. All of the most random of things, the most random people and the most random of issues, have all decided to come out of the woodwork and smack dab into the middle of my life. So, when I reflect on these events, these issues and these people, I can't help but think, "Really!? Right now?! Isn't this supposed to be the best time of my life?" Well, yeah, it is. But I have to say (and I am not saying this so that people will throw me a pity party), that this has, thus far been only maybe 5% enjoyable. This is SO wrong, though. This way of thinking, regardless of my circumstances is so wrong, so ungrateful, and so inwardly focused. There is so much to by thankful for. There are so many ways in which the Lord is consistently blessing us, and yet, like those bigger, more noticeable things surrounding our kitchen sign, the things that are troubling and frustrating oftentimes seem to be easier to focus on instead of "giving thanks". I am learning that sometimes I need to find the things to be thankful for in the middle of all of the noise and clutter. They must be pondered on, and conciously thanked for to the Lord.
Now that the holiday of Thanksgiving is officially over, it is a little bit easier to focus on my last week of school (at least for my undergrad... We'll see about a masters?), and of course, the wedding! I am so thankful that the Lord has brought me such an amazing man, that He has allowed us to enter marriage completely debt free, that He has allowed all of Christian's immediate family and some friends to come for our wedding, and for a church that loves and supports us wholeheartedly. The list could go on and on and on, and knowing that is a blessing in and of itself.
I have been dwelling on this thought for a couple of weeks now, and that is that every day that I wake up, God has given me life for one more day, not in vain, but with a purpose. I am not here by chance, I am here because of my sovereign God's will. Knowing that, and knowing that I have a purpose for every day that I wake up is a blessing, because I know that I have a reason for living. I suppose that, aside from that being one more huge reason to be thankful, is also a motivator for me, because it challenges me to be a blessing to others and to try to make the most out of my day. It helps me take away the importance that I place on my "circumstances", and allows me to have a much more positive attitude as well as praising God in all things.
Anyway, I think that this post might have been just a little bit haphazard, but thank you for those of you that made it this far. Will post again soon!
20 days and counting down!